IN PRAISE OF MEN!

Last weekend, my basement flooded!! For over a month before this, we had severe drought conditions, then last weekend... 3 days of torrential downpour.

The leak started in the pantry under the basement stairs on Friday.  My friend and handyman, G.S. came to the rescue and sealed it up. He used a type of mud that worked when wet and I thought that was that! No such luck!

On Saturday, we found a puddle of water in the basement bathroom. Two of my (male) friends examined it and decided it was the toilet that was leaking. But when W. dismantled it, he discovered that the water was coming from under the wall. Soon we had the shop vac out sucking it up. \

W. took charge of the situation without hesitation. He even seemed to like the challenge. But soon the water was pouring out faster than the vac could suck it up. We couldn't figure out where the leak was coming from, so we called the city. They sent a man over who said that hundreds of houses in the city were flooding. He told us to look for the cap that led to the "weeping drain". This was entirely new to me, I never knew of such a thing. The weeping drain is a pipe that goes all around the foundation of the house to catch excess rain water and funnel it out to the sewers.

I vaguely remembered a funny looking cap near the back wall before we renovated. Meanwhile we had to deal with damage control. W.M. stayed up all night to empty the vacuum every 20 minutes. He figured we were throwing out about 10 gallons or more an hour! By then we had 2 vacs going.

By Saturday, we found that the north and east wall of the living area downstairs were also leaking!!! W. had stayed up most of the two nights and worked days emptying the water and tearing apart the bathroom looking for the lid to the weeping tile drain. 

We took turns emptying and checking all the areas that were now being flooded. But then he went to Canadian Tire and "accidentally" found a shop vac that pumps out the water through a hose, allowing us to catch a few hours of sleep. (I say accidentally because he said he wasn't looking for it and was wandering around, not sure why he stopped... and looked up and saw this new type of vac. I am sure that my deceased Mom is helping us out here. I feel her presence a lot since she died two years ago).

W. was determined to find that cap and I was sure I knew where it was... but it wasn't where I thought it was. So W. began tearing the shower stall down. I couldn't bear to watch and went upstairs. He was literally ripping the back off the wall where it had been so carefully glued on by K. - another male friend who helped to build the bathroom. The bathroom was newly built just over a year ago...  

But now the toilet and shower and vanity were soggy and wet and pieces of it scattered all over the basement in the attempt to find the source of the flood. The drain cap wasn't under the shower, but we did find that the majority of the leakage was coming from a hole dug there to accommodate a pipe to the shower. Water was pouring out of it like an open faucet.

Finally, W. found the drain cap and discovered the source of the problem!!! The one-way valve on the pipe going from the weeping drain to the sewer was corroded shut, so the water could not funnel out. With the intense rain we got in such a short time... the soil couldn't handle the water. It had nowhere to go and seeped into the basement through any crack it could find. 

The hole under the shower turned out to be a good thing, maybe not the best choice in the first place while building it, but a saving grace now... allowing the worst of the flooding to come into the bathroom instead of the other rooms where the carpets and furniture were.

Nonetheless, the brand new bathroom linoleum was ruined, as were the carpets in the other two rooms. Insurance companies don't cover floods or any other "acts of God". It seems to me that they only cover the things that are least likely to happen. And they still make you pay the first $500. After 37 years of paying insurance on this house, you would think they would be happy to give something back. But of course that's not how the world of business is run, is it? I am learning a lot here....The good news is that since it was a "mechanical failure", I will get some coverage. Ya gotta read the find print.

All this is to say.... that I was truly impressed with how W. took charge of the situation. He didn't have to do it, it was an act of pure kindness on his part. The same goes for G.who came to fill in the cracks in the pantry.

It took me awhile to realize that W. was completely willing to take care of the situation. At first I felt bad that he had to do this, but he reassured me that it was easy for him. The long hours, the challenge of solving a problem, and the physical work involved... it is what he does on his job all the time.

I was exhausted after the first day, but he kept at it until the end, (5 days in all)...  making sure that we got fans and dryers working... and even cleaning up and putting things back in place as best as possible until we can get repairs done. 

Where did he get the energy? Maybe being a Thunderbeing had something to do with it. But I think that men are just built for challenges. On the Medicine Wheel - the Winds are challenges and Winds are masculine energies. 

As a single woman  who took care of for my parents in their final years, as well as the house and yard, all by myself... I can say that I have immense respect for men and what they can do. It has been really difficult for me to manage all the tasks over the years... and I found myself depending on men, friends and hired workers, to help out at times of dire need. 

When W. stepped up to the plate this past weekend, I found myself having to step back... to surrender and trust!  At first I was teetering precariously on the stones of Surrender and Trust... but then I realized that I had complete confidence in him and his ability to meet the challenge. 

When I let go, I literally felt a shift in my body... I found myself shifting into the Feminine role and doing what I could do to help in a different way. I made sure he ate properly so he could have the energy and strength to keep going. This is a man who works long hours, shift work for days and weeks at a time. To be honest, it is beyond my comprehension how he does that. He said that he keeps strong by working hard every day. He didn't give up  until he found the problem and fixed it!!!!

I thought of my parents and how they had their male-female roles so clearly defined. Dad did the yard work, built and repaired things and Mom did the cooking and housework. There is something so pure and simple in those roles, yet today the lines are so clear anymore in relationships. 

As women, I think we need to remember to tell the men in our lives how much we appreciate them. 

 

(The black and white photo at the top of this post is of my grandfather, Louis Houle)

The Shaman & Shamanism

(The following is taken from a post on our private site....) 

FROM OKWAHO....

"I think the best gift a Shaman, Sorcerer or God could ever give to us is the space and time to work things out on our own. We can make it and find the divine in us to make it.... A Shaman has a role but his or her role is not to live life for you - where you have chosen to give up. If anything a Shaman should inspire, breath strength in you when you are down but make sure you get back on your feet.... "

I was deeply touched by this and wrote back...
 

"Your words helped me to understand why I am where I am. You have

breathed life into me so many times when I was down... yet you would

not let me become dependent on you and that has made me stronger and more in touch with my own essence, the divine in me. It is easy to get entranced with the Shaman and want that energy to carry us, but it

will not help us in the end. One of the judgments I've heard about the

Shaman from those who don't know... is that they think we are "guru

worshipers" and don't have minds of our own... they are so wrong. Even

when I tried to give my power away to Lisa, she wouldn't let me...lol.

Thank God!

Thank you Shaman for helping me to find myself. Thank you community

for showing me who I am - light and shadow - and sticking with me through thick and thin. It has been such a healing for me. We are blessed here in GP to have each other, but we work hard at it too. We are blessed to have technology to stay connected and gatherings in Quebec to meet

in person."

 ******************************************************************************************************

It is true that even some of my close friends or family think that I am being overly influenced by our Teacher, Okwaho. I know that in the past, I would put her on a pedestal, being so infatuated with her energy, her power and beauty. Who would not be? 

I used to be an AMMA devotee. Amma is a holy woman from India who embodies the Divine Mother. In India, they have a better understanding and respect for the Holy Ones amongst them than we have here on this continent. Amma is always surrounded by an entourage of Devotees who take care of her physical body and needs, while she goes into in trance and tends to the multitudes of followers. The followers have no fear of being "seduced", "brainwashed", or "overly influenced" by their Guru... they have absolute trust, something we Westerners could learn from.  Amma did not need me, I needed her. She helped me to find my way back to my path, knowing that my journey with her was temporary.


The Shaman does not want "followers", it is hard work to take care of so many!!! Yet the Holy ones all over the world... in India, Africa, Australia, North and South America... continue to serve in spite of the hard work and the persecution which seems to be directed at them so often. In the past, they were put to death...  today they are ignored, ridiculed or judged by those who do not understand, those who don't take the time to ask questions, to open their minds or even to observe those that they judge to see if they are for real .... It always amazes me how humans can pass judgments on things they know nothing about!

So what is the purpose of the Shaman in a community, or on this Earth?

As Keeper of the Shaman, I do have an infatuation with this energy... it calls to me like a bee to honey. The Shaman is an energy or Wind that blows through its carrier, and brings wisdom, divinity and love to all who are in its reach. I have had the Shaman energy blow through me briefly...  and I felt such incredible unconditional love for everyone, and I just seemed to know things. Others felt it too. One woman followed me around after as if infatuated, unable to leave, mistaking me for something that moved through me... The energy did what it needed to do and left. 


But there are some who carry this energy more often and for longer periods of time... these individuals sacrifice everything to the Shaman, in service to Creator and Creation. They give up their personal in order to become a Collective creature. It takes many arduous initiations to get to the point where you can carry this energy for any length of time.

The Shaman can inhabit a stone, a tree, a crystal, a person, an animal.... It comes and goes... it chooses where it goes and when..... we do not control it.

There are so many misconceptions about the Shaman and Shamanism -  judgments made out of fear of the unknown, ignorance, superstition, rumors... etc. Many people are afraid to tell their friends and family that they are on a Shamanic path and follow the teachings of a Shaman, because of the judgments. I find this really sad. Why are East Indian Gurus, Enlightened Masters and Holy ones accepted, yet Shamans are not? People will cross the ocean to get a glimpse of the Pope and bow down in worship, kissing his ring.


Is it a matter of shame, seeing what was done to the Aboriginals, Shamans and all...? Is it too soon and too close to home for those who live on this continent? I find it strange that  that people go to other countries, South America, for example, to find Shamans and Traditional Shamanic teachings... when it is available right in our own back yard. 

It is true that Okwaho, my Teacher, has supported, encouraged and empowered me to find my own way when I just wanted her to give me the answers or tell me what to do.... That would be so much easier, simpler and quicker. But she trusted in me enough to let me go at a time when I was completely lost in ego and thinking I knew what I was doing. She let me make my own choices and follow where that led me.... She always told me to "Tell my own story" when I wanted to just talk about her and her teachings. 


 It took me many years to understand what she meant, because I didn't value my own experiences, my own life, MY dreams and stories... I didn't see the power in ME.. but she did and she continued to nourish it in me with infinite patience when I was being a real  pain in the butt!!! She cared enough to give me the tough love, to show me where I was out of sacredness and not in my Truth and Power. The ego is a tough nut to crack, especially in today's world which is so totally ego-centered. But even ego is accepted as part of the whole on this path, and we explore it to bring it into balance, unlike some practices that throw out the ego altogether. You gotta love a path that says that all of who we are has a place and purpose! We get to dive headlong into life  and explore our imbalances, illusions and indoctrinations, to live the experience of life to the fullest and find our way home through what we live. We honor our journeys and stories because that is all we have, what the Creator gave us.

We need the Shaman today to remind us of sacredness, to show us the way,  to point out the beauty and divinity to us. Because much of this has been lost or destroyed or broken in us. 


We can only see what is in the mirror. I found that with Amma, when I was in judgment, doubt, ego or my mental, I could not see or believe who she was. When I let go of all of that... then I could be fully in the experience and open to what she wasshowing me.


The same goes for the Shaman... we only see what we are open to seeing and believing. It takes humility to have a Teacher, and as they say, the Teacher appears when the Student is ready. And the student is ready when he or she is humbled enough by life, has enough strength to get past the arrogance or insecurity of the ego, or disbelief in the Mysteries of Life... and is willing and able to face the Creator with a rawness of soul and an openness to Truth. Amma showed me my Light, the Shaman showed me both my Light and my Shadow.... and loved and accepted all of me when even I could not!

One thing that makes us so lucky.... and this path so unique...  is that it exists in spite of 500 years of attempts to extinguish it. We are survivors! We are strong! Those of us who have found our way back to these teachings and to the Shaman.... have come through hell and high water to get here, because deep down inside we are seeking TRUTH and COMMUNITY and to understand ourselves and our world in a way that only the Medicine Wheel can show us. 


Many are Dreamers, Healers, Warriors, etc..  who need to explore their what they are living when no one else seems to understand.  


We are lucky to have the Medicine Wheel as a tool for survival in these difficult times and a Shaman to help us to find that which we have forgotten or had taken away from us... our medicine or power!

Hau!

(As you can see, this is a topic that I am passionate about and will return to again and again I'm sure, there so much to share, teach and learn.)

 

WARRIOR WIND

 

The Warrior Wind has blown in on the New Moon today, March 15th...  and it is challenging us to see, hear, speak and live Truth. 

At our New Moon Circle on Saturday, I heard a group of strong Warrior Women speaking openly and honestly, sharing their stories of their struggles and issues with humility and openness. A sacred circle is a safe space to share, be heard and find common ground with others. We give and receive love, support and feedback, and yes, even hard truths are given and received. I am always impressed at how well the newcomers fit in. It seems that the magnetism of the wheel attracts those who are seeking truth and healing. 

It takes humility to hear the truth about ourselves when we would rather be in our illusions and dysfunctional patterns. Our egos are resistant to change and we don't always like to be seen as imperfect. Our western and christian programs make us feel guilt and shame for our so called "sins".  That is why I love this path, there is no right or wrong, no judgments, no guilt, shame, regret or jealousy... there are only lessons and learning to be the divinity that we are deep inside. 

At the circle we laid down the wheel according to our stories and I added pebbles to each stone that represented a theme that was repeated by different people. The wheel grew and became even more "alive" than ever with the additions made. 

The Medicine wheel circles continue to evolve as we all grow and open to the natural forces that guide us.

Last night I had a dream that showed me in a place where there was no social order... people slept on mats and blankets in building, went where they wanted and no one telling them who to be or what to do. One man tried to impose rules on the seeming chaos or disorder.... but no one listened. Then I heard a voice saying.... "Following laws based on the NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS, not imposed rules".

I felt a shift inside of me as I let go of ingrained social programs, western linear thinking and the need to control myself and the world around me.  

Hau!

Wheelkeeper

INITIATING AND BEING INITIATED

Every day we are constantly being triggered by others, and we can also trigger them. For someone like myself who has INITIATOR as a Role it is quite a challenge to carry out the initiation of others. I can feel when my Initiator comes through me. I feel a hardness a strength and courage that comes through me. I am not always comfortable with this part of me, but I often have to get out of my own way and trust my inner community, my saced roles. 

In our Moon of Affirmation circle on Saturday, I triggered some people at the end when we were finishing our talking circle. It had been a long night and people were tired. Our last one to speak was our elder. The one who spoke before had been very emotional and in a deep process. When the Elder went to speak, four people stood up at once and left. I felt the energy being sucked out of the room. They went to the kitchen and began talking so loudly that I couldn't even hear our Elder talk. I asked someone to tell them to be quiet, because they were doing another wheel in the next room. It reminded me of when a community member built a smaller wheel beside our bigger one and sucked the life out of the bigger wheel. 
  
I got angry at the disrespect for our Elder andI asked them to return to our circle. Someone spoke up and said it was not to reprimand but to teach. Two other women got defensive and said they needed to move their bodies. I had said at the beginning to take care of your bodies, that we wouldn't be taking breaks, so go stretch, get some tea, etc when you need.

But in this instance, it was near the end of the Wheel and an Elder who was speaking. I am a Keeper of the Wheel as well as a Keeper of the Elders. From my perspective, what they did was disrespectful and unconscious. I was doing my Role. 

But this seemed to cause quiet a stir. Three women got defensive and felt that they had to give their reasons for leaving. One women went into a huge process and we had to help her with some healing. No one seemed to be able to sit still with the "reprimand" and get the lesson in the moment. It took a crisis to bring everyone to clarity and truth. 

Endings of wheels are often difficult at times. The energy can dissipate before the end. We all feel the end coming, there is restlessness, impatience and discomfort. The last stone on the wheel before the North, (where the wheel ends),.... is the Initiator stone. This is the place where we tie the knots which makes the wheel a wheel... or else it all comes undone. It is where we are tested to see if we got the lessons of the wheel we had been spinning. In this case, being the Moon of Affirmation, the ritual we did and the lessons were all about affirming who we were.

I am happy to say that we all got the lessons, we all spoke our truth, we all were strong in who we are and had our voice. The woman who got initiated was the strongest of all because her obstacles were enormous. With the help of the women in the circle, she managed to break through the negative voices in her head, the fears in her body and affirm herself!!!

There was no animosity between anyone, which was another great accomplishment. Everyone understood that it was an initiation and did not hold any resentment or judgments. But not everyone spoke up, so I don't know what they were thinking. 

I am proud that I allowed my Roles to do their job without holding back as I would in the past, afraid to antagonize anyone. I am proud of the women who spoke their truth and the woman who broke through her devastating fears to find her voice!

And I am proud of the women who listened and learned, were open to the experience. 

In the end, our Elder spoke words of wisdom from a collective place. It was all perfect!
We are an amazing group of strong women!!!!

Hau!

Wheelkeeper

I welcome the perspective of all the women who were at the circle. Let's have your voices heard, let us see the many perspectives. No one is right or wrong, each one has a valid viewpoint to share. That is what makes up a circle - what makes us whole, strong and united!