MOVING FORWARD

Recently, a ghost followed me home from a place that I visited. It was a woman who had committed suicide thinking that would put an end to her problems. Now she is stuck because she realized that death doesn't end anything. You just take your issues with you to another level. There was many signs, messages and synchronicities from the dreaming with this story. Someone gave us a drawing of a woman before I even visited that home. The drawing looked just like our ghost. 

She was confused and disoriented, didn`t realize where she was or what she had done. Windwalker and I brought her to consciousness and showed her what she needs to do to move forward. She left a lot of shit behind and needs to clean it up. It will be a lot of work and will take time, but the only other choice is to stay stuck in the in-between as a ghost and continue her same dysfunctional patterns in her next life. She was not happy about us giving her back her shit, but everyone has to do their own work. They can't just keep dumping it on others.

I learned a long time ago, that the most important thing to do in life is to be ready to die in a good way. We can look at death and learn from it. We can imagine our own deaths, and ask ourselves... are we ready? What do we have left to do? Jesus said "Before leaving your offering at the altar, go and make peace with your brother". He was saying "deal with your unresolve".

Take advantage of the Cosmological influences at hand. 2012 is the year for change and now as of the New Moon, January 23rd, we are in the NOMAD WIND for one month. This Wind will bring us opportunities, people and guides that can help us move forward, to bring change where we were stuck and to bring resolve where there was unresolve. It is time to grow beyond our self-imposed limitations.

The Nomad Wind also shows us how to make links in our personal stories to connect the puzzles of our lives. And it connects us with others who can support us in our journeys.

It teaches us about collectively, helps us to see that we are not alone in our struggles and victories. We can find a common bond with others and become closer to Oneness. Change is a good thing and it is inevitable. We can resist it or flow with it. In the end, resistance only prolongs the outcome or sabotages it altogether. 

We are still in the Moon of Welcoming until February 6th. Welcome change, movement, growth and see how the Universe brings the support you need to accomplish the smallest of tasks.  

There are other Cosmological forces at work too. Mercury retrograde, we will be doing more internal changes than external for the next few months. Mars Retrograde tells us think before we act.

Hau!

NEW MOON OF WELCOMING

It is so amazing that the Western New Year is in alignment with the Moon of Welcoming, which follows Natural Laws. I don't know how rare this phenomenon is because I haven't been keeping track that long. 

At our Woman's Moonlodge, the topic seemed to center on loss and death. The women ended up sharing stories of abortions and miscarriages and the death of baby in the first month of life. They still grieved the loss of these children. 

Personally, I was perplexed at this because I also lost a baby and although there was a period of mourning, I went on with my life, knowing that it was what had to be. This experience made me a better person and a better Mom in the long run.

I shared my story of how I met up with the soul of this unborn child later in life when I became a Nanny. I was her "Mother" for the first year and a half of her life. She seemed to need to be with me for some reason. I know I was depressed at the time. It was after coming out of major surgery and a life-threatening illness. She must have needed that depressive energy in her life to balance out the family she chose since they were Westerners who lived life more on the surface.

Our bond was so strong that she thought I was her Mom, which made sense because I was with her all day long. I was happy to see her off to her start in life and to leave her with a family who could take good care of her physical needs much better than I could.

We may lose a child, but if they are meant to be with us, they will find their way back again. There is no death really....

At the Moonlodge, we had to work with one woman who was not able to make peace with the loss of a child. She said she thought she had let it go, but what she had done was to rationalize it, go into her mental body. We all saw and felt the pain and anger in her physical. It was great that she was able to share her story as it triggered issues in some other women around having, not having and losing babies. It is great that she was able to hear us and is willing to do her healing work some more.

I explained to them that we were starting this Moon year on the dark side of the Moon by looking at the shadow issues around welcoming.  I believe that this is a theme and an indication of what is to come for us all in 2012. 

Another topic that came up was around Elders. One woman was entering her menopause and we did a lovely ritual for her. Then another Elder and myself also were honored in the same way. It was wonderful to accept and appreciate myself as Elder. It has taken me years to make the adjustment. I kept looking in the mirror and not recognizing or accepting what I saw. I wanted to look like I did when I was 30 or 40. How silly, I thought finally, I am letting society dictate how I am supposed to look, feel and act at my age. I am 60 years old and if I look at myself without the judgments and programs, I think I look damn good for my age! LOL. 

Better yet, I feel good, I feel strong, I feel like I earned my wisdom all the way through. I have lived an extraordinary life and still have many good years ahead of me. Yet, I am not denying the fact that I have more years behind me than ahead of me.... I am looking at my own immortality and preparing for when I pass over. I am journeying with my "Angel of Death". There is still lots to do before my time comes, so I better get busy.

At the end of the Moonlodge, another Elder confided in me that I challenged her to grow by my example. She saw how I tackled my challenges head on and she realized that she needed to do the same in her life. I felt honored by this. You never know how you impact others unless they tell you.

So this years Moon cycle is off to a good start. The Moon of Welcoming is asking us to look at our fears and issues around rejection, death and loss. We have one month to do this before the next full moon. Journaling, talking about our fears and issues is one way to go. Looking at our unresolve with our losses in life is also crucial. It seems that we all have work to do be ready to welcome death!


(The image above is a death mound that Windwalker and I built last year to release our limitations.)

            

As we begin the New Year, 2012, we are off to a good start with the Initiator Wind blowing through once again. This Wind has popped up several times in the past year. It seems that we need the Initiator to push us to grow. This Wind will trigger our issues to see what we need to work on in order to bring balance to our personal wheels. Those who have been working on themselves for a long time will have it easier than those who are just starting their healing journeys. 

This year, our community is working together to get out a book or two about Shamanism, the Shaman and our stories on the Red Road. These projects have been in the works for years, but it seems that it is finally coming together. My book will be stories related to the Medicine Wheel. I seem to have a lot to say so I might as well write it down...lol.

We are aiming to have these books go to the next stage by this summer. It is exciting and scary to see this dream coming to a place of manifestation. 

Here's to all of you fulfilling your greatest dreams this year as the veil between the worlds thins. The Mayan Calender is not ending, it is the end of a major cycle and the beginning of a new one. We need to be ready for anything, open to change and the challenges that this wind and this year brings us. 

Happy New Year!

FORCES OF NATURE

There is a new feature on our TV weather channel here. It is called FORCE OF NATURE. They show the worst  and most recent storms, floods, droughts, avalanches, tornadoes,hurricanes, earthquakes, etc. It is awe inspiring, heartbreaking and unnerving at the same time. 

Mother Earth is speaking to us loudly through these "unfortunate" events. Yet, we have known for decades that this was coming. Our Aboriginal Ancestors predicted these times hundreds of years ago. So why should we be surprised. The question is... are we ready for what is to come when everything is so uncertain and unpredictable?

What can we do?

Well, all we can do is be prepared for the worst and pray for the best. In our tradition, we are taught to do our own personal work and pay attention to signs and messages from the Dreaming, the Earth and Spirit... and to trust!

We do our personal work by being aware of our own unresolved issues. Everyone has their own way of doing this. In our tradition, we don't do years of psychotherapy, we use the Medicine Wheel as a guide to learn and heal. It is the most effective and has the longest lasting effects of any method I have ever tried. And believe me, I have tried everything else in my life. 

To look for signs and messages from the collective themes and lessons that we are all living -  we observe repetitions. For example -  the past little while I have noticed that people are reaping the consequences of not being responsible for their words and actions, for not following through on their original intentions.

A friend of mine cut his thumb when he was going to do one thing and suddenly changed his mind and went another direction. Then yesterday at a restaurant, a waitress confided that one of their cooks walked out in mid-shift, leaving them in chaos at a busy time.  He broke his contract, didn't follow through to the end. 

Another friend made plans to go back to work on a certain day, then called in to postpone. From then on, things began to go wrong. 

Someone was supposed to do my business cards for me by a certain date but never came through. If I had been told that they were too busy and couldn't do them, I could have made other plans. As it was, I waited and had none to distribute at the busiest time of year when people were asking for them.She didn't keep our agreement.

The universe speaks to us in so many ways if we really pay attention. I have been very aware of my thoughts and intentions and following through, doing a full wheel with them. It is so easy to say one thing and do another, but are we aware of how we affect everyone and everything around us when we do this? It is a challenge to be mindful, but very rewarding to discipline ourselves on these seemingly insignificant matters in our daily lives. From a dreaming perspective, you need to do a full wheel with what you start or you break the dream. We are breaking dreams all the time. 

The other day, I interrupted someone who was sharing a story and broke the dream he was sharing. It was humbling but it was good to be made aware of this behavior so I can change it. Thoughts and words do have an impact on our world as much as our actions do. We may not be able to change the world, but we can change OUR WORLD with consciousness and effort. 

In New Age philosophy, they say to think positive thoughts and do positive affirmations. That is not a bad thing, but when we ignore the reality around us and think that being positive is enough, we are fooling ourselves. Darkness does exist in Nature and in us. We need to acknowledge our own darkness and do the work to bring the light of consciousness to these dark places. We need to take action, not just think happy thoughts.

The Forces of Nature exist in and all around us. We are not separate from the trees, the animals or Mother Earth.  Demons, devils and monsters lurk in the shadow realms and live in us. We all have the potential to do good or do harm. Carl Jung, the Swiss psychologist who studied Shamanism, said that the most important thing we can do is to examine our own shadow. He predicted the Nazi invasion at this time and was trying to tell the world to be more conscious. But most people prefer to live in denial until it is too late. 

The forces of Nature are getting more intense. Our inner lives are also reflecting the intense changes of nature. We can do our part by working with our Indigenous natures and bringing ourselves into balance. We can look at where we are unresolved, unconscious and unbalanced. We can not do this alone, we need like-minded people that see us and are willing and able to be truthful about where we need to change, learn, heal and grow. We need to allow our ego defenses to settle down before we can listen to what they are telling us. Then we can take steps to change our ways. 

The Medicine Wheel shows us the steps to take to bring change, beauty and abundance to our lives by working on our Moons, Ancestral stories and our Totemic natures.

WINTER SOLSTICE 2011

It is interesting that I am coming back to this blog after not being here since last Spring Equinox. It feels like years of living and learning have occurred this year. 

I have been writing on my website (www.wheelkeeper.com) but am returning to this blog so I can work in conjunction with Lisa Tardiff (Okwaho Lablanc) in teaching the Medicine Wheel.

 

This past year has been filled with change and challenges for us all. The biggest one has been this new business that I was called to begin. It has to do with making connections with others in the community and selling Traditional and Contemporary Aboriginal Arts and Crafts. But it is so much more than that. It is a place for me to grow and learn, to develop new skills that I know will serve me in my Shaman Initiation. 

Already I am learning how to discipline my hypersensitivity and to shape-shift out of my Initiator into a more diplomatic role...lol. You can't be triggering people when running a business. 

Since my Mother passed over in 2008, I have been in a process of going through tests and challenges related to my initiation. It is amazing how the universe and the dreaming brings us what we need to grow and learn. There is no doubt in my mind that we are guided every step of the way if we are open to our Guidance. This takes trust and the ability to surrender. It sounds easy but how many can really let go of the need to control and be the master of their own destiny? In the end, resistance only makes things harder. I truly understand what all those great sages are saying now when they talk about surrendering to a higher power. 

In these final days before 2012, the chaos and confusion is building. The cosmological influences are pushing us to adapt, change or suffer with our delusions and illusions. 

That which worked in the past may no longer apply. Like the saying goes... if what you are doing isn't working, try something else.

The Medicine Wheel gives us 36 different stones, 36 different perspectives, 36 different ways to look at any one situation... yet we often stay stuck on one stone. Usually these are our broken Moons that hold us back. Moon work is about allowing these parts of you to have a space to grow, learn and heal. It doesn't have to take years of psychotherapy. It is about experiencing the child within. Just by acknowledging it, you are starting a journey of healing. The Moon wheel unfolds as you bring consciousness to your reactions and emotions. Then you are able to make conscious choices and take actions to change the behaviours that no longer work. 

Right now, as we count down to Winter Solstice 2012... this year we are being forced to work harder than ever on our personal unresolved issues. There is no shame in being broken, hurt or lost. The only shame is in NOT doing our work. That is all that is asked of us.

I know from twenty plus years of being on this path, that the more we do our inner work, the more life gets better and easier. We become clearer, happier and stronger.

We don't have to save the world. It is arrogant to think we can when all the great masters, prophets and sages of history have failed. All we can do is save ourselves and support and encourage those close to us who are also willing to do their work. 

We can't do our work alone. We need to be humble enough to ask for help and to listen when confronted with our imbalances and dysfunctional ways. 

 

EQUINOX MUSINGS

It is the end of March and the Equinox has come and gone. I am busy with preparing for a new cycle of teaching the Medicine Wheel. Next weekend I will give an introduction to the MW and at the end of April, I will go to Cleveland to work with My Teacher, Gerard, to teach the Wheel to a group of People there.
Then I hope to do a weekend workshop sometime in June. 

Today I met a wonderful, delightful woman who is full of Life, having received news that she is free of cancer. We haven't met in person yet, but over the phone. She also does woman's circles, in BC. I called her because a friend of mine down there attended a Woman's Moon circle that M.gave. I found out that we had a connection to another woman that we both met many years ago. The Circle of Life goes around and comes back to the beginning again and again. Each time I reconnect with someone from my past, it is magical. The strange thing is that I was just writing in my book about the onset of my journey with Grandmother Twylah Nitsch. The woman M. and I both met is named Spider and she was very special to us both. 

I loved our connection and it felt like meeting a long lost sister. She opened me up to new ideas and energies. She helped me realize how stuck I have been here and that I need to spread my wings and fly again. I need to be more open and creative in how I conduct the circles. In the past, I didn't know anything, but I followed my guidance. Then I acquired lots of knowledge and I became too rigid and structured in how I work. It is good to have the knowledge of the teachings, but also to break the rules a little and experiment. I am not as wild as I used to be, I have been influenced by my environment, which is very conservative and practical. 

Practical is okay, but I need to feel the magic again, I need to let go of the structure of the Wheel and be more in touch with the flow of energies, with Spirit and Nature. I need to dance, to sing, to play more. 

I may be getting older, but that doesn't mean that I have to become old. 

MY WEBSITE

Nathalie and others, I hope you will join me on my new website on the NEW BLOG page and continue to journey with me and the Wheel. Thank you for your feedback and support on this blog.

Let's continue to grow and heal with the forces of Nature guiding us. It the time for change as we move into the 1st Moon of Welcoming on the Full Moon in January, 2011. 


www.wheelkeeper.com

TRANSFORMATION

I have closed this site off from my Website for now. I will use this space for me. It will be my personal space, whereas my website will be more for Teachings. 

DECISIONS, TEMPTATIONS & OBSTACLES

Maybe its my Clan, which is Butterfly, or maybe its because I am a Gemini, but I hate having to choose between two things. Its easier for me if there are three or more choices. but with two, it drives me crazy. 

Since I have opened my website and discovered that I could blog there, I wondered if I should close this site. But I like this space, I like the colors, being able to post photos.... I feel at home here. This is more private than the other space. Yet, I have been reluctant to come out... to expose myself to the public. Its taken me years to get a website and I am still resisting that book I am supposed to write. I have all the material, but I get stuck when it comes to going public. My writing is intimate and personal, its deep and sacred to me. I write about what I know, about my dreams and experiences, my issues and healing. I don't know how to write otherwise. I have tons of material - journals, dream charts, dreams, shamanic journals.... I am happy when I am writing or reviewing or editing  my journals, but then I get distracted, busy, lazy, resistant.

My wish for this year is to push through the obstacle and trust myself and the Dream that wants to manifest. I was told over 20 years ago by a stranger on a train that I would be writing a book. I was told in a dreamchart over 7 years ago the same thing. Is is a rebellious teenager in me that is fighting this destiny? Is it the fact that others told me to do it? That would be immature of me, wouldnt' it. 

Whatever the reason, it is time to push through and get to work. I will probably have to write less in other places like here. It is not easy to go back in time and rewrite my memoires when I want to be living life fully today. A sunny day, a phone call from a friend, the internet, a good movie on TV... these are the temptations that get in the way. 

How many of us let life's distractions keep us from doing what we are called to do. My son, the Thunderbeing, is great at discipline and focus. I find that this is a trait of that Clan. Us butterflies are so easily blown about by the slightest breeze. I need to anchor myself in my center totem, my horse, with all four feet on the ground.  There is no one there telling me to be at work on time. I don't have to punch a clock. I know that there are people out there who would love to have the time I have to write... 

So with that being said. I just might not be blogging as much this year. 

Or maybe..... I just may use this space for myself to write about my writing...lol.  

Or................

SOLSTICE WISHES

This time of the year is always difficult for many as the Christmas stress builds. With the pressure to buy gifts, to cook, bake, visit, etc.... Christmas has become a commercial commodity. That is why I am happy to be on a Shamanic path where we follow the natural rhythms of life and nature. Celebrating the Solstice makes much more sense to me. Shamanism always makes sense, being an earth based outlook on life.

Being the darkest time of the year, it is a good time to go inward and see what lurks in the darkness of our own souls. We also makes wishes at Solstice to prepare for the long, hard winter ahead. It is ironic that Solstice is the longest night and the return towards the light, while at the same time, it is only the beginning of winter. 

Each year there seems to be more natural and cosmological forces lining up. This solstice coincides with the Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse. It is also one year since the Blue Moon of last December 31st. We are edging closer to 2012 and the transformation is upon us. There is no time to waste on pettiness and inessentials. It is time to get to the crux of the issues at hand.

Winter is about death and letting go and opening to something bigger and wiser than ourselves. Yet with the Moon of Metamorphosis, the 12th Moon, coinciding with the 12th calendar month, we are reminded that death is CHANGE.

What is changing or needs to change in your life? For me, it is a letting go of my identity of caretaker for my parents, and being open to where I am guided next. I am also stepping back from my Role as leader in our tribe and observing the blossoming of others in their power. 

My dream is to travel and teach the wheel, to help build functional, sustainable communities, to show how the wheel can serve us in every aspect of our lives. I would love to bring these teachings to parents and teachers, anyone who works with children so they can have some tools to build healthy egos.

The ancient wisdom still applies today, even more so than ever if we are to survive this transition and earth changes. The momentum towards destruction is out of hand and 

 we need more creation energy to bring it into balance. A connection with nature is crucial to our survival.

I pray that this Solstice and Moon of Metamorphosis will bring us all what we need in our lives to evolve, transform, survive and thrive in all areas of our lives. 

As I prepare to leave for Vancouver to visit my son Eli and, friends Christy and Ryan, I pray that the women who are looking for what the Moonlodge has to offer, will find their way to us.

I am sure that the Dreaming will bring us together in celebration and ritual. We will do a rites of passages to help the final spin of the wheel before starting a new cycle with the Moon of Welcoming in January!

I don't do Christmas anymore, but I do connect with the Christ love each year and fill my heart with goodness and love. 

I will be back in 2011.  

Meanwhile my website is finally up and running at www.wheelkeeper.com 

Firekeeper Wind, Magic, My New Website and More...

1969, Vancouver, BC

I've come a long ways from my Hippie days of weaving hand-made looms. Looking back, I can see that each chapter of my life was Divinely guided. I am full with the richness of experiences that are varied, magical and uniquely mine. Being a rebel from the start, I never walked the beaten path, I always was drawn to the wild places that had no human tracks to follow. I guess you could say I am a trailblazer. 

As we enter this Firekeeper Wind today, December 5th, on the New Moon, and the same day as the planet Uranus goes Direct in Pisces, I feel a renewed vitality and passion for life. Firekeeper is my Role in the West of my Wheel and my totem is a magical creature, a rainbow butterfly! We all have some part of us that is mythical, mystical or magical. The Firekeeper is the part of us that believes in Magic and Miracles. Today, with science being in the forefront, so many have lost their belief in the supernatural. Logic has replaced intuition and faith. 

Christmas is a Christian concept that in some way, awakens the belief in miracles if even for a moment in time. Winter Solstice is also coming up soon and according to our Traditions it is a time for making our wishes for the year to come. Wishes are an important part of life. We make wishes all the time. At our Medicine Wheel Circle on Saturday, I showed the group how to use the Wheel to make wishes and continue to work with them all the way through. I think the problem people have with wishes is that they think they don't have to do anything to help them manifest. They forget that we are CO-creators of our world.

This Firekeeper Winds heralds in a new chapter for me in my life. It is not surprising, seeing as Firekeeper is at the beginning of the wheel. Making wishes, vows or setting intentions are what ignites the Sacred Fire of Creation, it gets our Wheels turning and brings challenges and experiences that eventually lead us to beauty and abundance. Even New Years Eve resolutions are linked to the Medicine Wheel traditions. 

The onset of my New Website at this time is perfect timing as we end a solar and lunar year and the cosmological influences are lining up in a way that is unprecedented, bringing new opportunities for growth,  new attitudes and awareness for all humanity. 

I welcome you to my world, a world of beauty and abundance, fire and passion, a world with those who are searching for something different, for ancient wisdom, grounded wisdom, unconditional love, real honesty and integrity, truth seekers of all kinds....

The Sacred Fire burns strong in my heart and soul as I turn a page in my book of life and open myself to the world, so others of like-mind may benefit from the teachings, from my stories and experiences.

I am just a small link in a bigger chain, a student, a teacher, a fellow traveler on a narrow path of those who walk with the Ancestors in service to Creator and Mother Earth.

If you feel called to join a path that takes you out of the mainstream and leads you to the wildest parts of your soul, you just might discover your natural and true self, apart from the layers of programs, illusions and indoctrinations that society, religion and culture has put upon you. 

MOON OF HUMILITY & INITIATOR WIND

This Moon is exceptionally powerful this time around due to the fact that we are also in the Initiator Wind and in the month of November. All of these are situated in the Northwest of the Wheel. I don't know if we have ever had these line up like that before, but to me it shows a greater focus on what these represent.

The Winds and Moons are powers of Nature that influence us in our daily lives.The Winds give us our challenges and the Moons show us where we are at emotionally. 

Having Initiator as a Role and seeing how it works in my life has brought me to a place of humility. Our Roles are bigger than us and when we step back and allow them to work through us, we are being in service to the Wheel, Creator and Mother Earth. Its tough being an Initiator because we trigger issues in others and then we have to deal with the backlash of their reactions. An Initiated Initiator will be able to stand strong in their Centre when this occurs. If we do react to the reactions of others, we know we still have work to do.

My teacher Okwaho wrote about the Moon of Humility that if we are relatively balanced in our previous moons, "...we begin to think for ourselves and we become humble in the knowledge of the world around us and in us".

At our Moonlodge on Saturday, I felt humbled by the presence of strong women who were humble enough to be in their power (Medicine) and also to humbly listen as their were being shown their unresolve and broken moons. 

This Moon is important because it is at age 11, the time that we get initiated into finding our purpose in life, that which will lead us to happiness and wellness. We live this Moon again at ages 24, 37,50, 63, 76.... 

At age 24, I found myself a young mother with a two year old son and a mentally ill husband. We  had just moved from Vancouver to Montreal, and a  huge ancestral story was about to unfold. 

At age 37, in 1988, I was in the process of leaving my marriage and going on a journey of self-discovery, I had chosen to face my fears and go out on my own. It took a lot of courage to do this at the time and I have no regrets. I lived through so much, so many adventures and lessons, that my life reads like a novel, full of exciting characters, dreams and initiations. 

At 50, I returned to my origins, the place of my birth, this time to care-take my aging parents. I was fulfilling a sacred contract as Keeper of the Elders and Keeper of the Dead, although at the time, I did not know of these Inner Roles on the Medicine Wheel. I was merely following my inner and outer guidance.

A few years ago I went through an Initiation of my Initiator. It was probably one of the most challenging initiations of my life. I had been going in the wrong direction and had to find my way back to my path, my community and my teachers. It took a year of hard work and incredible humility, humiliation and determination. 

Initiations do not happen overnight and humility is not easily learned. Our ego defenses are very strong and resistant to change. As Okwaho says, it often takes humiliation to become humble. 

Recently I had to initiate our entire tribe and stand strong when the backlash came. It was a great test for me and them. What was great is that they all went to a place of humility and did their work. This wheel is not over yet but I have hope for us all. I trust this group more than any other before because they have proved their devotion to the path of truth. 

I am glad to be an Elder now and have all these experiences behind me. There will be more initiations and more opportunities to find humility. I believe that aging alone humbles us, as we look back and see how perfect our lives have been and how powerful and powerless we are at the same time. 

Okwaho says that Humility is needed to pass through the gates to the Dreaming. When we are being initiated, if we can see it as an opportunity to grow and learn, instead of being defensive and reactive, we will find our way to Creator, we will pass through the gates.

***Initiators are also known as Sacred Clowns. The photo at the top is one Halloween when I discovered as aspect of my Inner Clown. I named her Hettie Carbuncle.

Wheelkeeping

It seems that the Universe wanted me to go out and teach the wheel. Since 1991, when I started on this path, I have done Medicine Wheel Circles, Moonlodges, Healing Circles, lectures and workshops in Montreal, Quebec, Grande Prairie Alberta, Victoria, Silverton, and Nelson, British Columbia.Right now in GP I have been working with others in the building a Shamanic community.

My son commented once that I seem to form community where ever I go. I attribute this to the magnetism of the Wheel that flows through me. The Medicine Wheel is all about inter-relations, among other things. It shows us how to be balanced and functional on personal, collective, universal and cosmic levels.It has a magnetic force that attracts and magnifies what is in the environment so we can see what the messages and lessons are for us to learn. It connects us to something bigger than ourselves, to Spirit and Nature.

Some of the Circles I've initiated are still going. It feels good to know that. It is good to  train other wheelkeepers and see the results of my labours blossom into sustainable communities. But other groups seem to dissipate after I leave. Not everyone has what it takes to hold together a community. Not everyone is a wheelkeeper, but everyone has their Role on the Wheel of Life. I'm not talking just about western jobs, I am talking about our deeper life purpose. My purpose is to live, learn and teach the Wheel. Now I am finding others who can carry on the work, leaving me free to travel more and to take time to write.

On December 18, 2010, I will be doing a Full Moon Circle in Vancouver, BC. I am really excited about meeting new women who are called to the magic and mystery of Grandmother Moon and the Medicine Wheel. I love the path I'm on. Sure it has its challenges and initiations, but each one brings me closer to Wholeness. Each step brings me closer to the realization of my dreams and vision and I feel clearer, stronger, more confident and integrated. I have this path and my teachers to thank for that.

As I work on editing and organizing my memoires, I realize how many adventures I've lived, things that many people just read about. My life has not been "normal" in the sense that I don't follow the mainstream. Once a rebel, always a rebel. I never fit in with the crowd and wondered why. It took me 40 years to find out who I really was, because there was no one I knew who I could relate to about what I was living. We didn't have internet access in those days and connections were harder to make. I was never interested in material things and social status. I was not ambitious in that way. I wanted to know the deeper workings of my soul. I wanted to be real and follow my heart and spirit. I had to earn my way, to prove my commitment all the way in order to find my path and teachers.

But it is all perfect in the end. The timing of every detail of my life is so perfect, how can I doubt anything? When I began holding Medicine Wheel circles, it was a CALLING. It happened so naturally that it took me awhile to question what I was doing. But when I did, my dreams confirmed that I was indeed doing the right thing. I always tried to follow my Spirit guidance and go where I was meant to go. There is a freedom in that that few to live. I am truly blessed.

It is great to meet like-minded souls on the path who seek what Shamanism and the Wheel have to offer, and who have much to offer themselves with their stories and wisdom learned. I realize that this path is not for everyone and I am not here to convert anyone. Some will come and try it out and leave for various reasons and that is fine too. They will receive something wonderful from the experience. Others will just "know" it is what they have been looking for. The few kindred souls that decide to walk the Red Road with us are welcomed with open arms.

My gratitude this day and every day to the Ancestors who lived and died to preserve the Sacred Ways. I also give thanks to my teachers and all those who I met along the way who inspired me to continue this work. It is not always easy, but the rewards are priceless.

Hau! 

P.S. The photo is at a Gathering with our Teaches from Quebec. I am the one standing in the back. Our teacher Gerard Peyrot is a gentle soul with a  great sense of humor, and I love him dearly. He gives a lot to his students and always brings us back to reality! He sees right through you and always speaks truth with a quiet power.

LET'S NOT FORGET...........

Today is REMEMBRANCE DAY in Canada and Veterans Day in the US.

But let's not forget the Brave Warriors, our Ancestors who gave their lives for THIS land!

Many of our Aboriginal Ancestors endured unbelievable suffering and pain to keep the traditions and sacred ways that we now follow. Without them, we would not have the drum circles, sacred songs, medicine wheel circle, pipe ceremonies, sweatlodges, sundances and the many other prayers and rituals that help us connect to Earth and Spirit. 

Today, I give thanks for our Aboriginal Ancestors and those who continue to serve today...

The Hereafter

With Halloween behind us and being in the darkest time of the year, the subject of Ghosts naturally comes up in conversations. I am reading a book called "The Complete Book of GHOSTS, A Fascinating Exploration of the Spirit World, from Apparitions to Haunted Places". Its by Paul Roland, Arcturius Books.

Its worth reading, very comprehensive study, a believable and scientific documentation of the Ghost Realm with a historical approach.

At some point, I was glad to see that they do make a distinction between Spirits and Ghosts. In Shamanism, we see Spirits as the Wholeness of a person. Ghosts are the parts of us that are unresolved. These parts get stuck in the "In-Between", until they can find resolve. When we reincarnate, we may gather up those parts of ourselves again and try to bring resolution. We will incarnate in situations where we are forced to deal with unpleasant issues, often it has to do with our birth families, which explains why family dynamics are so challenging.

There is more to us and our world than we know, or can even imagine. At our Great Gathering in Quebec, our Shaman brought us messages from the Ghost Realm. It was sad to see how many lost souls there are out there needing to make peace with something or someone. John Edwards, the renowned American psychic, gives messages from the dead to loved ones who are still living. It seems that many won't cross over until they let their relatives know they are okay. 

The TV show "Ghost Whisperer" deals with the dead who are stuck in- between. They are called Earth bound spirits. "Medium", another popular series, is about a Dreamer who sees the dead and deaths of murder victims and works for the Pheonix Police. It is based on a true life story.

At the Gathering,  were told that the in-between is a grey, lonely place, and that it is sad that the living don't acknowledge the existence of the Ghost Realm or even the Spirit world. We have been programmed to deny it. According to the book that I am reading, at one time the Catholic Church forbade any communication with Spirits. That changed only in 1952 with Pope Pius XII, who cousin was the co-founder of the Jung Institute and President of the International Society for Catholic Parapsychologists. 

Now we see books and movies out with zombies, ghosts and all kinds of evil monsters. "Twilight" brings out the human side of Vampires, showing their struggles, passions, fears and loves.

The main purpose in general around mention of ghosts is usually to instill fear. But from what I've learned, if you see or feel Ghosts around you, they are usually asking for your help. Sometimes they even come to learn and heal from us. We have something they need to be able to continue on their way.

We had a young man who lived with us awhile back. He was on medications for depression and carried a heavy burden. I was worried that he might commit suicide, but trusted that he was sent to us for a reason. He ended up moving back home where his grandmother could look out for him. When he moved, he left behind not his Ghost, (the unresolved part of him), but his Spirit (his wholeness). This was an unexpected twist on things. It seems that his Spirit needed a safe place to hide while his body and the unresolved part of his soul worked things out. We accepted his need for a refuge with a time limit to it. There is many ways to be of service in this world and the next..... 

If more people believed in the Hereafter, Spirit and Ghosts, I think they would live their lives differently, with more consciousness of what they create, and what they leave behind, knowing that their unresolved parts will go to the in-between, or what Christians call purgatory. 

If more people believed in reincarnation, what would they do different, knowing that they will have to come back again and live the consequences of what they manifested in their past life? How would they treat the Earth differently, knowing they would have to come back and live with the mess they created?

I am going to see the Movie "Hereafter" tonight and am hoping that it gives an accurate portrayal of the Ghost realm and the after-life.

The Ghost realm of course is just a part of what is in the invisible to us. It is a matter of different levels of being, like different rooms in a house Life is circular and never-ending,  the universe is vast and infinite..... we just need to believe and the doors of perception will open wide. 

P.S. November 3, 2010
*The movie was excellent, with good acting, special effects and an accurate portrayal of the hereafter. But they only touched on it, as usual, didn't go too deep. Nonetheless, it is great to see movies like this coming out of Hollywood!

Life and Death

BEAUTY IN DEATH

I have been in silence for awhile. There is so much going on with our Tribal process and the Great Gathering in Quebec.... so much to integrate. It is important to take time to sit with our experiences. I find that I can get too full and need to empty out. I do this by reflecting and writing things down so I can review what I lived and see where I need to go next. 

"May you live in interesting times".... I just learned that this is a Chinese expression and that it is actually a veiled curse. We do live in interesting times. Time is speeding up and the veil between worlds is thinning. We can't get away with the things like we did in the past. We are being forced to be more conscious, to be more accountable for our actions. I remember reading somewhere that the Angels or our Guides are stepping back and letting us fall flat on our faces so we can get the lessons we need to grow and heal. It is essential that we take advantage of this window of time that we have left in order to push through our unresolve.

At the Great Gathering, my Teacher  and Shaman Okwaho Lablanc, went into the Dreaming and gave us messages from the In-between, from those who have passed over. My Mom, who died in 2008 was there.  She said that there is a change in the magnetic field of the planet and it is attracting danger form something outside itself - like a magnet. This energy is helping us to grow faster.  It is a great opportunity, so lets make the most of it. Like my Dad (who passed over in 2004) said to me in a dream...  "Do not take your old baggage with you when you move on".

  

This is something we all should be doing anyways. I learned that when I lay dying in the hospital in 1982. The most important thing to do in life is to be prepared to die. How many people consider their deaths, there is so much denial, fear and avoidance of this reality.

I was not ready to die back in '82.  I was filled with rage, hatred and unresolve. When I recovered, I knew that I was given another chance to look at myself and what I needed to do with my life in order to heal the wounds of childhood and past lives. 

How many people are willing and able to do this kind of work on themselves? The general population would rather go through life with blinders on, living superficial, unfulfilled lives. Yet, this is no longer an option. The Earth herself is overloaded with our shit, our garbage and excess electrical energy. She cannot tolerate this anymore. 

There are many ways to do our part on this planet. Some will be called to be prophets and speak out against injustice, pollution and so on... Others will be Warriors and will stand and fight for the trees, they will go and clean up the oil spills and rescue the animals, or rescue people in crisis, etc. The Healers will deal with the wounded and sick.

Still others will work in smaller ways, doing what they feel called to do, whether it is doing their inner work, forming or join ing communities that work together for the good of all, or teaching something of value, walking their talk, living in balance in their daily lives, connecting to the Environment around them and doing whatever is needed...

Whatever you do to help in the process of Creation will help to counteract the mass destruction and separation - the  unconscious attitudes and behaviors  of others. 

There is nothing that is too small to make a difference if you realize that your words and actions have an impact, that you are powerful and can make a difference by being the best that you can be.

As I always say, "Assume your positions". Be where you are called to be, do what you are called to do and let Spirit do the rest.

Whatever happens, when the times comes, I just want to be ready to die in a good way, to be able to say that I lived my life the best I could with what I was given. I want to be able to look Creator in the eye and know that I earned my place in paradise. 

Hau!

Walking a Shamanic Path

Once or twice a year, I go to one of the many workshops. retreats or Gatherings with my teachers, Lisa Foss Tardiff (Okwaho Lablanc) and Gerard Peyrot (Natza).  The last retreat was in the Rocky Mountains at a retreat near Golden, BC in June of 2010. These events are always exciting, mysterious, and challenging, as we explore Traditional Aboriginal Dreaming, Shamanism, community and the Medicine Wheel. 

As I prepare for the Great Gathering of September 2010, I find myself reflecting back  upon my journey that brought me this far....

I met Lisa in 1991 when I lived in Montreal. I was teaching the Medicine Wheel at the time and our connection was destiny in the making. It makes me realize that there are no accidents and we meet who we are supposed to meet when the time is right.

Lisa fascinated me because her connection to Spirit was so tangible. And she was a great Dreamer. I didn't understand much at first, but over the years, I have experienced and learned so much from her about Shamanism and Dreaming. She showed me the Medicine Wheel in ways that I never knew existed/

 I would not be where I am today without her and Gerard pushing me, encouraging me, bringing awareness of what I need in order to grow (breaking illusions), and helping me to become more conscious of my attitudes, words and actions. They showed me my strengths and weaknesses with no judgments or expectations on their part.

I have journeyed with so many parts of my Inner Community on my personal wheel that I feel full, blessed and proud to be who I am and where I am at on my journey. The lessons continue, but the wheel spirals ever forward with accumulated wisdom and experiences being added to my medicine bag.  The rewards of this path are incredible, if you are willing to do the work on yourself to bring balance, awareness and sacredness back into your life. It is challenging on all levels, it is not for the faint of heart... but each step makes you stronger. 

This path is not for everyone, it is for those who feel the call. It is not easy to bridge the gap between Western and Shamanic; it takes a huge leap of faith, trust and determination. Some walk with us for awhile and leave wiser and happier, having gotten something that they needed. Others come and fall hard because it is not what they expected and they don't understand our ways, our language, our beliefs and values. They may get angry and lash out. Others just realize it isn't for them and go off in another direction. Unfortunately, there are also those who take and don't give back, they take the teachings and misrepresent them as theirs! This is deceitful and harmful to all involved. They are not living what they are teaching.

Some are those who are attracted to Shamanism because of  the Dreaming, Soul Retrieval, Totemic realities etc.... They like the mystery and magic, the language and the rituals or ceremonies. All of these can be found in many New Age Shamanic groups... to a point... For those who want to go deeper, the mountain is high and steep, the journey is long and challenging. It takes courage, determination, brutal self-honesty and many lessons in letting go of expectations, judgments imbalances, guilt, shame, jealousy and so on..... 

For me, walking a Shamanic path means continuously striving to walk in balance and integrity with humility and humor. It means not taking myself too seriously, but also being real about who I am and where I am at. It means being committed to my path, my teachers and medicine partner. It is about doing my best to follow the dreaming, to grow, heal and learn, and to give back however and whenever I can. It also means letting go of those who I love who choose other paths and trusting that we are all where we need to be. 

I may have stumbled and fallen many times on this bumpy road, but I keep on going, picking myself up, and becoming wiser with each passing year.

This year, I am celebrating 19 years of consciously walking this path, although I am beginning to realize I stepped onto it long before... But each step has brought me closer to my Self and to Creator. 

I am indeed grateful for all the forces... Spirits, teachers and friends that have crossed my path over the years. Becoming an Elder on the Red Road, means that I can sit back a little and revel in the glory of my accomplishments. I can be here as a guide for those who are just stepping onto the Red Road, by sharing my stories, experiences and wisdom with them - for those who want to listen.

As I look at all the adventures I have lived, I believe that I have been fortunate to live a rich and full life. I have come a long ways from the lost child that I was. I have learned to trust when there is nothing to hope for, to persevere when it seems that the entire universe is conspiring against me or when I am in deep pain and sorrow, to stand in my truth when others are hurling accusations my way. I've learned to not let my ego rule my actions.

I have learned to do my own inner work quietly and thoroughly, and to not judge others, for I too have stumbled along those  side roads that took me nowhere. I too had to find my way back. The Red Road is off the beaten path, it is rugged and narrow. It is a path for Spiritual Warriors willing to carry the burden of truth in spite of the consequences. In the end, it can give you everything you ever wanted and more. 

I find a deep peace within me that feels solid. I also feel a sadness for the loss and separation that occurs as the Wheel brings challenges that many are not able, willing or ready to handle. But in the end Spirit guides us all to where we need to be.

I feel the end of a chapter in my life and a pause before turning the next page. I don't know what is around the corner, I can only see the next step in front of me. But I've lived long enough now to know that if you walk with Spirit, Spirit takes care of you.

Hau!

Countdown to 2012

We are getting closer and closer to 2010. The changes that are happening are huge! It is as if we are going extinct as a species. Humans have to make tremendous adaptations on all levels in order to survive. 

It feels like it is time to move up to another level of consciousness and being. There is no more time to waste with petty human quarrels, ego power struggles and notions of separateness. We are all in this together and we all need to find our strengths and weaknesses, our power and purpose, our gifts, our path... 

Those who don't will be left behind. It is not easy for anyone to let go of lifetimes of old baggage, ancestral stories, karmic patterns and dysfunctional behaviors. I struggle with my own issues and humanness every day. I fight the demons of depression, of hopelessness and helplessness. Who of us doesn't have something to deal with, who of us doesn't have some issues to work on? As Jesus said, "Let those who are without sin, cast the first stone".

We are taught from day one to be independent, separate and isolated from others. We all feel alienated or lost or confused at some time or another. How do we go forward to become all that we can be, to fulfill our highest potential when there are so many challenges, so many obstacles in our way?  It seems like the forces of darkness are fighting for their lives. A battle of light and dark is underway.

Truth and illusion need to be sorted out. It is nice to believe that rainbows and spaceships will come down out of the sky and rescue us from the mess that was created on this planet. It is terrifying to think that a comet will hit the earth or the poles will shift dramatically, throwing us all into catastrophe and imminent death. 

But what if nothing drastic happens? What if December 21, 2010 is just another day? What purpose does all this speculation serve? How has it helped us to become better people at the end of the day?

I believe that no matter what, we need to be working on ourselves every day, to grow and heal and go beyond our perceived limitations. We need to put aside our petty quarrels with one another and get down to the real business at hand. When Y2K was a big concern, and people were stocking up on food in fear of shortages, I just knew that I had to be ready for anything, ready to die in a good way if necessary. How do we do that? I faced death in 1982 when suffering from a severe illness. It was a crucial turning point in my life. I knew I wasn't ready to die because I have many questions about life and death and most of all... I had unresolved issues to deal with, unfinished business. When I recovered from that near death experience, I went on a spiritual quest and didnt' give up until I found my path and my teachers. 

And today, the work continues. There are never-ending challenges to confront, but they are here to make us stronger and wiser. When I was young, I knew everything, now I don't know much at all. I can only watch and shake my head in bewilderment at the human situation and the choices we make in our lives. I can only wonder how things got so out of hand, how we can destroy the very ground, air and water we depend upon.

Each of us has a place and purpose in this world. Each of us can choose to be a cancerous cell or a white blood cell on the body of Mother Earth. The more hypersensitive I get, the harder the challenge to not get sucked into the collective nightmares of jealousy, competition, ego games and poverty consciousness.

We are being asked to be strong at this time. My teacher Okwaho said that there was a prophecy that our ancestors received. It said that there would be a time when people would not be strong enough to deal with the challenges that life brought them.

Last night I watched a documentary on the life of Sitting Bull. The actor who played him had soft skin compared to the photos of Sitting Bull himself. You could see that Sitting Bull had a hard life, but his eyes burned with life and passion, strength and commitment to truth and justice. 

In the end, he got shot by his own people who had joined the white man. He died a warrior, the last Chief to surrender to the invaders. He died saying NO to that which was against his truth, his people, his nature and his rights.

What would I have done in that situation? Would any of us be able to look death in the face and stand strong and brave in our truth?  We will all be faced with that dilemma one day, we will all face our death one way or another. It is time to make ready!

Hau!