Saturday, March 6, 2010

Taking Responsibility

This post is in reference to the two previous ones, title "The Moon of Affirmation" and "Intiating and Being Initiated". As the previous title suggests, whenever we initiate someone, we get initiated also and have to go into the Moon of Humility and do our inner work, look at what is in us that causes an emotional charge.

 It has been a hectic week with me dragging my butt around, still fighting a cold or virus or whatever.... but today I had some time to go into silence and do some reflecting. I thought about the circle and the anger that rose up in me. That is unusual for me, I don't feel anger easily. I wondered what it was about and realized that it was two-fold.... 

Part of me has issues with how Elders are treated. After care-taking my parents for 7 years then seeing how they were neglected, mishandled and even abused in the hospital, I was so angry all the time. I would file a complaint but nothing was done, the staff would deny it and they only had my word against theirs. I even filed an official complaint with Protection for Persons in Care.... and was told that I needed witnesses, dates, names and times. Well.... I was not thinking of all that when my parents were dying... so I let it go. But I have always gotten upset when Elders were neglected.

 I am not saying that what happened in the circle warranted my reaction. I need to take responsibility here for my actions. I know I over-reacted and got controlling. That is the other part to this story. My Wheelkeeper is a traditionalist and comes from a time when the teachings, the traditions were being taken away from his people. As a result, this part of me can be very rigid and controlling as an attempt to retain the traditions. 

These are parts of me that I have been working on for years, but I can see that there is still some residue of unresolve in me in regards to these issues. This Peacekeeper Wind has brought them to the surface for me to look at. 

This is just another perspective on the same topic. There are many ways to see any one situation. It all depends on what stone we are on at any given time. One viewpoint does not negate the other. Like a diamond with many facets, there are many faces of truth.

The image at the top of this post is a sculpture that I did years ago... it had the faces of 3 women, 3 different generations,maiden, mother, crone....  done in plaster and left outside to return to the elements.


Michelle said...

Wow what a difference a week makes :) Definitely hear the story clearly now. Thank you for being honest and sharing your truth...This is where we truely learn to grow and share who we are in our moments of shadow and light...Thank you Wheel Keeper.

Cougar-D said...

Thank you MaryRose. Now I feel there is resolve. It is great to hear where you are at. Feels valuing and healing.

Sublime said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sublime said...

Thank you for posting your story of where you are at with the post, “Taking Responsibility”.
There are so many things your posting has shown me, but one thing that stands out the most is the Sharing of Your story.
By functionally sharing your story of where You are at and being Real about it, has taught me about the different ways of learning and growing.
There are times that on our path of becoming balanced in our life, our dysfunction or our dysfunctional fragments can teach Us new things, and bring healing, by being able to put aside our Egos and Look at the different perspectives that are being presented.
Thank you for showing me this.

Sublime said...

Maryrose, I love your sculptures and Masks.
You have a real talent.

Wheelkeeper said...

Thank You Sublime, for your feedback. I hope that doing my process helps others as well.

Still waiting for comments from other. I haven't heard back from anyone about looking at what came up for them when they jumped up and left the room. There was something to look at there for them as well. We had just finished an intense process with one woman and there was one woman left to speak before closing the circle. It was as if they couldn't contain the energy or that they were "done" after such an intense experience and not willing to wait a few more minutes. It is a matter of consciousness and discipline and being aware of the movement of the entire wheel. That is what I was trying to get across to everyone in the circle. How is comes out doesn't change what the message is. It is a matter of looking at the lesson for us all.


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