Monday, April 5, 2010


Today, Easter Sunday, 2010, I went to a sunrise ceremony with a church group. I don't normally attend church, but lately have been feeling a need to heal the wounds of the past in regards to my Catholic upbringing. There was a lot of good things that I got from going to church as a child. Unfortunately, it was tainted by the undertones of guilt, sin and punishment. But I found if I could ignore all those things, I would feel a deep connection with Spirit and the Christ love inside of me.

The church I chose today is quite radical and open-minded. I like the informality of it and the fact that they take the scriptures and apply them to today's world. They also do small rituals at every service and you never know what they will do next. 

On Good Friday, they had us choose rocks and hold them during the service, not knowing what they were for. At the end, they said to put our prayers or what we wanted to leave behind (our burdens) into the rock and lay it at the foot of the cross. I made sure that I was not giving my problems to Christ. I don't believe he was meant to take on our sins, but to teach us how to stop sinning and to do our work to heal our wounds. He was already crucified, so why give him more to deal with? We should deal with our own shit.

Today, the Church group had a sunrise ceremony in the park, with a small fire. We sang, prayed and it was good, but not quite enough for me. So, I also did my own private ritual later, drumming by the water and greeting Father Sun. When I faced the East, Tears of gratitude poured out of me, as I realized that I really am starting a new wheel. The challenging lessons that I have been living for the past few year are complete and it is time for me to go forward.

The songs  and words of the Church service that I went to later also touched me, bringing tears of love and gratitude. And I got many strong messages for myself. I was brought up going to church and I had many wonderful experiences of connectedness with the Christ love. My Mom said I was touched by the Holy Ghost, because I always cry when I prayed. I still do.  It is because I feel so much love and it just seems to pour out of my heart and eyes. Communion is not just an outward act, I have to feel Christ love entering me.

Today, Easter Morning, they gave us flowers as we walked into the chapel. The minister said, don't look for Christ crucified, he is Risen!

I got a stem with 6 pink roses on it. I found this remarkable, because I am working with my 6th totem on my personal wheels. I have dreams and signs of integration going on, which is what the 6th totem or Role is about. For me, this totem is my Healer.   The Pink Rose is also one of my symbols. 

(The photo you see is of the cross with everyone's flowers on it).

Being on a Shamanic Path does not mean you cannot be part of a religious belief or go to church. Creator, God, Allah, Buddha... may all be different, but they are all aspects of the Divine. 

Shamanism is not a religion, it is a teaching that shows us how to live according to natural laws, to NATURE. It is organic, open, flexible and adaptable depending on where we live, and the time period we live in. The Wheel is our Guide or Map that we use to find our way through time and space, through the Dreaming known as  LIFE!

By following my heart and going to church, I was being open to where the dreaming is guiding me, open to natural laws. It doesn't mean I am going to go to church all the time, or commit to them, I will go just when it feels right, when I am called. I can find Spirit in many different places.

For me, this Easter was all about HEALING, and being open to GRACE in whatever form it takes! It was, for me, very synchronistic with Easter Sunday and Resurrection!!!

*** The minister also talked about being WARRIORS and speaking out about the injustices in our world today... which are the same as they were in ancient Rome. 
I thought that he is also in touch with the Dreaming, seeing as we are in the WARRIOR WIND! Everyone is a Dreamer in one way or another.

1 comment:

Rose said...

I understand this reconciliation with the religion of our childhood. In the UK church was so much bound up with village life when I was a child. It was the heart of the community. By turning our backs on it we have lost this focal point with out replacing it with something new. Church is my heritage - it is something my ancestors took part in and helped maintain and build. It shaped their lives.

So I may not be a Christian but I can accept now how it shaped me and I can use Church as a way of connecting with my community and my upbringing in a spiritual way. I have as much right to church as a fervent believer....


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